4 “golden rules” of goal reaching revisited

1. Establish short term mini-goals?

This one´s a tough one. Mini-goals are easier to follow, but they aren´t as motivating as seeing the big picture. Let´s say, for example, that, like me, you are trying to create a blog and connect with people interested in the same topics as you and create friendships and interesting debates. Frankly I don’t feel motivated to write only a post. I feel motivated about the big picture: of you reading me, comment, and start bonding. At least for me this has never worked. It´s very common in programs like AA “today I won´t drink” or in “today I won´t eat any junk food” Why bother if you´re only doing it for a day? Maybe it´s better for a longer term. When my husband quitted smoking he said: “I won´t smoke for a year” while he took the last puff. Every year he says the same and, thinking a little bit long term has helped him keep smoke- free for four years…and counting.

2. Stay committed not condemned

In other human development blogs I keep reading that you have to stay committed and focused on your goal all day long. I think that´s a little obsessive. Let´s not forget: what resists, persists. If you are thinking of weight loss all day, the only signal your brain gets is “weight”. This is the basis of positive thinking: keep your affirmations positive. Don´t think “I need to lose weight”, think “I´ll eat healthier” so the word your brain gets is “healthier”. If you put resistance by over thinking your goals, your problems will only persist.

3. Learn to say no?

This one´s a classic. Learn to say no to things that “hurt” you or to people that abuses of your time or money, etc. I say, let´s say yes. Let´s go back to the weight issue. It´s healthier to say yes to working out than saying no to coach potatoing. Have you seen the movie with Jim Carrey, Yes Man? This is not fiction. Great things happen when you say yes. Let´s put a real life example. When I was reading about life coaching I saw the Free Coach Training program at the SCM. All I had to do was clicking (saying yes) and my whole life changed. Why do you think we say I do at wedding rather than I don´t? Will you take John Doe as your beloved husband? I do. Would you take anyone else except John Doe as your beloved husband? I don’t. Saying no isn´t positive or ecological. When it comes to people that abuses your time or money you can also say yes and grow as a human being by saying yes to yourself. Do I deserve to be treated with respect? Yes. There´s your answer. It´s all about switching connections in your brain to stay positive.

4. Get people involved

Tricky one. Which people? If you go out there and tell people that you´re quitting smoking you´ll get lots of answers. There´s positive answers like: “Wow! That´s great”. The problem is every time you see the positive answer people you will feel suffocated by questions like “You´re still not smoking right?” There will also be people, often fellow smokers, to convince you not to do it. But most of the people will go “Uh! That´s tough, are you in withdrawal? Does your head hurt? Are you feeling depressed?” It´s not a bad intention, they´re just curious; but maybe you weren’t having a headache until that person put that idea on your mind. Nevertheless, really positive people can help you achieve your goal, so be careful, don´t make everyone know, but get support from the right people.